A few days after my November blogathon, a WhatsApp message popped up from an unknown number. A lady introduced herself as Dheepak Narasimhan's cousin's wife and said that inspired by what he had written for my blog, she too wanted to share something.
Intrigued, I asked her to send it across, and she promptly did so. It turned out to be an amazing account of, as she titled it herself, the journey of a girl to a woman. In today's times, when we find relationships heading for a split at the tiniest disagreement, it is worth pondering over and adopting what Gayathri Srivathsan spells out as her life lessons....
I was a very normal girl with lots of dreams and ambitions, from a pakka middle class family traditional in outlook but modern in their thoughts. Life started changing for me when I began working part time in the evening during my college days. I was a HR trainee in a hospital and those years helped me gain a lot of experience.
After college, I got an IT job and life was happier. I was supporting my parents and was doing well professionally too. But all this was short lived… one day, while returning home from work at midnight, my cab met with an accident and I got a spinal fracture. When I finally recovered, I couldn't sit for more than an hour and so, had to resign my job. I took a break and was checking higher studies options.
At this time, a matrimonial alliance came from a close family friend of almost two generations. My family was enthusiastic, but with a lot of hesitation, I said ok because a thousand questions were ringing in my mind, with the predominant one being, “I m only 21, if I get married now what about my ambitions, my career?”
We had a chat on Facebook before meeting each other. He says he was sure I would be his wife - maybe he had some strong intuitions. For me, he was good and nice and fit my category of being tall (silly, right?) but there was one other thing that made me love him. My husband was working in IT Industry in Chennai then and making a huge amount of money but later, cleared the bank exams and now we live in a village called Ariyakudi near Karaikudi and he earns very less, but he wanted to take care of his parents and not leave them alone ....
I made the move from Chennai to an agrahaaram where people are more conservative but also genuine and trustworthy. I began working as a teacher but had to leave the job when I got pregnant. That happiness was short lived and we lost the child and that was the biggest nightmare. Through all of this, my husband was my pillar of support along with both my families...Everytime I felt hurt by what people said, he helped me discriminate between good and bad, just like one teaches a child.
When I conceived again, I came to Chennai because the medical facilities in Ariyakudi were minimal. We were away from each other, and my pregnancy hormones were taking a toll on me. My mom-in-law was the very serious kind and so, talking to my husband for even a few minutes was a very tough job. Things started getting so bad and I was so frustrated that I even thought of separating from my husband.
That was when we sat down together and spoke and I understood that breaking a relationship was not a solution. We started to change ourselves in small ways. Since then, we are really a happy family. I live with my in-laws under the same roof. We fight, we have misunderstandings but we can't stay without each other. It's wonderful to be in a joint family.
My father in law is such a wonderful and the most affectionate person I have ever seen. He starts crying if I have pain. It’s been two years since my mom in law passed away and there’s this huge vacuum because she was truly another mother to me.
Athai (my father in law’s sister) who lives with us is one strong woman and I want to be as determined as her. She guides me about how to do things right.
My husband has been there always for me, and I’ll be there for him no matter what. Rithvik, my son, our bundle of joy and happiness, is teaching us to be more responsible and enjoy life.
Finally my mom, dad, sis and brother – whatever I am today is because of them. They are my rocks with their teachings and guidance.
To all couples who say, “We never have fights,” please understand that there is nothing wrong in a fight or having a misunderstanding provided you use it to understand the other person better . It's not a big deal to hold your hands while walking a path of roses but if you can survive a storm without letting go of each other, then your relationship is worth it.
Adjusting to something or someone doesn't really mean you are losing; instead, you’re gaining a lot of things. Marriage or a kid can never stop you from achieving things if you really have the determination and will power.
If we like a person, even the bad things they do look good to us. At the same time, when we don't like a person, even the genuine things they do sound wrong. Let us stop being judgmental and our lives will improve. Nobody is perfect. Look at people beyond their imperfections and just see how happy your life turns.
Seriously, my life turned upside down after I realized these truths.
Life is how you perceive – it is like a mirror. You show happiness and it gives you back the same and vice versa. So enjoy life and have fun!
Regards
Gayathri Srivathsan
After college, I got an IT job and life was happier. I was supporting my parents and was doing well professionally too. But all this was short lived… one day, while returning home from work at midnight, my cab met with an accident and I got a spinal fracture. When I finally recovered, I couldn't sit for more than an hour and so, had to resign my job. I took a break and was checking higher studies options.
At this time, a matrimonial alliance came from a close family friend of almost two generations. My family was enthusiastic, but with a lot of hesitation, I said ok because a thousand questions were ringing in my mind, with the predominant one being, “I m only 21, if I get married now what about my ambitions, my career?”
We had a chat on Facebook before meeting each other. He says he was sure I would be his wife - maybe he had some strong intuitions. For me, he was good and nice and fit my category of being tall (silly, right?) but there was one other thing that made me love him. My husband was working in IT Industry in Chennai then and making a huge amount of money but later, cleared the bank exams and now we live in a village called Ariyakudi near Karaikudi and he earns very less, but he wanted to take care of his parents and not leave them alone ....
I made the move from Chennai to an agrahaaram where people are more conservative but also genuine and trustworthy. I began working as a teacher but had to leave the job when I got pregnant. That happiness was short lived and we lost the child and that was the biggest nightmare. Through all of this, my husband was my pillar of support along with both my families...Everytime I felt hurt by what people said, he helped me discriminate between good and bad, just like one teaches a child.
When I conceived again, I came to Chennai because the medical facilities in Ariyakudi were minimal. We were away from each other, and my pregnancy hormones were taking a toll on me. My mom-in-law was the very serious kind and so, talking to my husband for even a few minutes was a very tough job. Things started getting so bad and I was so frustrated that I even thought of separating from my husband.
That was when we sat down together and spoke and I understood that breaking a relationship was not a solution. We started to change ourselves in small ways. Since then, we are really a happy family. I live with my in-laws under the same roof. We fight, we have misunderstandings but we can't stay without each other. It's wonderful to be in a joint family.
My father in law is such a wonderful and the most affectionate person I have ever seen. He starts crying if I have pain. It’s been two years since my mom in law passed away and there’s this huge vacuum because she was truly another mother to me.
Athai (my father in law’s sister) who lives with us is one strong woman and I want to be as determined as her. She guides me about how to do things right.
My husband has been there always for me, and I’ll be there for him no matter what. Rithvik, my son, our bundle of joy and happiness, is teaching us to be more responsible and enjoy life.
Finally my mom, dad, sis and brother – whatever I am today is because of them. They are my rocks with their teachings and guidance.
To all couples who say, “We never have fights,” please understand that there is nothing wrong in a fight or having a misunderstanding provided you use it to understand the other person better . It's not a big deal to hold your hands while walking a path of roses but if you can survive a storm without letting go of each other, then your relationship is worth it.
Adjusting to something or someone doesn't really mean you are losing; instead, you’re gaining a lot of things. Marriage or a kid can never stop you from achieving things if you really have the determination and will power.
If we like a person, even the bad things they do look good to us. At the same time, when we don't like a person, even the genuine things they do sound wrong. Let us stop being judgmental and our lives will improve. Nobody is perfect. Look at people beyond their imperfections and just see how happy your life turns.
Seriously, my life turned upside down after I realized these truths.
Life is how you perceive – it is like a mirror. You show happiness and it gives you back the same and vice versa. So enjoy life and have fun!
Regards
Gayathri Srivathsan
As always a wonderful blog and good job at compiling / publishing it Anu.
ReplyDeleteKudos to Gayathri for fighting every moment of her life with strength. We all as human look for support and get driven to achieve whatever we intend to. Yet, when the same support is not available, we end up distracted and lose focus.
As humans, we each go through tremendous journey filled with a variety of roller coaster rides. Instead of enjoying it we end up getting scared, fear with it, or sometimes live in denial. It is indeed a journey I could connect with and definitely could learn from it. Thank you, Gayathri for sharing your story with us. All the very best and keep up high spirits.
You're right, as always, Shilpa ! Thank you for your encouraging words to Gayathri :-)
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