A friend wrote to me about her mantra for a peaceful life – Have patience, and let go …things will fall into place.
Now this is something we all know in theory. Often, we preach it to others who seem too much caught up in some stress of their own making. And while it is so easy and simple to say this, practicing it is quite difficult.
Now frankly, I haven’t interacted with this friend much about personal stuff, and so, I wasn’t sure which category my friend fell into – the practicing kind or the preaching kind. Besides, rather than me pontificating about this lofty idea, I thought it would be more easy to relate to this advice if there was a real-life example to quote. So, I asked my friend for this and here’s what she sent me…
Festivals were a time when we used to visit our relatives for a happy celebration....they were cordial, loving, warm, and made us feel so comfortable that any festival without visiting them felt incomplete for us.
As time passed by they came up with the idea of selling an ancestral property. Rightfully, we were supposed to be a 50 percent partner in the property. One of the key persons in that family was apprehensive that we would make a rightful claim after the sale or that we would create some hassle in the sale process. Of course we had absolutely no inkling then, of their plans – this information we got much later.
Whatever, this very thought brought in a divide – that family abruptly ended our participation in the various festivities by giving some frivolous reason. The sale was made and when we were informed later, it was quite a shock to us because we had no idea they were even considering this step.
Till today, I thank God for blessing us with good sense. By God’s grace, we didn't get the idea to take a legal recourse. Instead, we patiently witnessed the developments.
Our patience and the determination to stay away from the matters of our relatives gradually settled our minds. We began to look up in life and seek a direction which could bring peace and happiness, as a substitute for the previous joy we found in celebrating festivals with this family.
As it is always said, ‘What you sow is what you reap.’ The efforts of that person to get back to the old days of togetherness with us have not been fruitful because too much water has flown under the bridge. Seeing our attitude, till today, that person feels a regret about his own behavior….
The first thing I noticed in this story was the attitude of my friend’s family in dealing with this situation. They could have stayed miserable, cribbing about how they were cheated or let down.
If only we understood this idea and reminded ourselves of it whenever things don’t go our way….we’d be more at peace with ourselves and with the world.
Now this is something we all know in theory. Often, we preach it to others who seem too much caught up in some stress of their own making. And while it is so easy and simple to say this, practicing it is quite difficult.
Now frankly, I haven’t interacted with this friend much about personal stuff, and so, I wasn’t sure which category my friend fell into – the practicing kind or the preaching kind. Besides, rather than me pontificating about this lofty idea, I thought it would be more easy to relate to this advice if there was a real-life example to quote. So, I asked my friend for this and here’s what she sent me…
Festivals were a time when we used to visit our relatives for a happy celebration....they were cordial, loving, warm, and made us feel so comfortable that any festival without visiting them felt incomplete for us.
As time passed by they came up with the idea of selling an ancestral property. Rightfully, we were supposed to be a 50 percent partner in the property. One of the key persons in that family was apprehensive that we would make a rightful claim after the sale or that we would create some hassle in the sale process. Of course we had absolutely no inkling then, of their plans – this information we got much later.
Whatever, this very thought brought in a divide – that family abruptly ended our participation in the various festivities by giving some frivolous reason. The sale was made and when we were informed later, it was quite a shock to us because we had no idea they were even considering this step.
Till today, I thank God for blessing us with good sense. By God’s grace, we didn't get the idea to take a legal recourse. Instead, we patiently witnessed the developments.
Our patience and the determination to stay away from the matters of our relatives gradually settled our minds. We began to look up in life and seek a direction which could bring peace and happiness, as a substitute for the previous joy we found in celebrating festivals with this family.
As it is always said, ‘What you sow is what you reap.’ The efforts of that person to get back to the old days of togetherness with us have not been fruitful because too much water has flown under the bridge. Seeing our attitude, till today, that person feels a regret about his own behavior….
The first thing I noticed in this story was the attitude of my friend’s family in dealing with this situation. They could have stayed miserable, cribbing about how they were cheated or let down.
Instead, they chose to look for a positive way out, and in the process, grew in stature and achieved the elusive peace everyone seeks. Considering the tremendous pressure we face from extended families and society, this cannot have been an easy task. There may have been moments when they would have wondered if they were doing the right thing, moments of weakness when there would have been an urge to give in and wage a legal battle. That they didn’t do it is a testimony to their strength in what they believed to be the right way.
Did you notice how my friend wrote, “Till today, I thank God for blessing us with good sense?” Her concept of ‘good sense’ is so alien to what most other people would say. This is probably one of those cases where the majority need not always be correct. Also, what is 'good sense' is variable depending on what one's priority is.
Letting go of something as concrete (and also as financially significant) as ancestral property is not an easy thing. Yet, my friend’s family made that decision because they valued something beyond this property – their own self-worth, and peace of mind, and the principle of not stooping to the opposite party’s level.
I believe this kind of a letting go can only come when you have accepted, deep within yourself, that ultimately, what is your due will come to you any which way; something that is not meant for you will not be yours no matter how much you struggle to attain it or to hold on to it.
Did you notice how my friend wrote, “Till today, I thank God for blessing us with good sense?” Her concept of ‘good sense’ is so alien to what most other people would say. This is probably one of those cases where the majority need not always be correct. Also, what is 'good sense' is variable depending on what one's priority is.
Letting go of something as concrete (and also as financially significant) as ancestral property is not an easy thing. Yet, my friend’s family made that decision because they valued something beyond this property – their own self-worth, and peace of mind, and the principle of not stooping to the opposite party’s level.
I believe this kind of a letting go can only come when you have accepted, deep within yourself, that ultimately, what is your due will come to you any which way; something that is not meant for you will not be yours no matter how much you struggle to attain it or to hold on to it.
If only we understood this idea and reminded ourselves of it whenever things don’t go our way….we’d be more at peace with ourselves and with the world.
Hi Anu
ReplyDeleteThere was a similar issue with us in our ancestral property settlement and things were going worse but I have to Thank the Almighty to have given us the strength to speak the truth and facts to the other person involved and see to it that it was amicably settled to a greater extent than making things go no where, God made me His instrument this time too and saw that it was done all in a smooth way .... though there was loss but very very bearable and sustainable too . Thank Him every breath of my life .
Archana
Good to know, Archana...indeed, without God's grace, so many things can go awry..
DeleteI think madam, the society as a whole, to some extent should move out from materialistic matters so that negativity around us can be contained. Even we have to inculcate the same in our children so that they can live in a more safe and secure society.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your blog...
Yes, that's true, Sir..
Delete